Good Suffering

It's good to have bad things happen to you because it allows you to experience greater joy and happiness. You need to experience the opposite to really experience something great. Since some people are left out of the suffering loop perhaps I can help them out with this so they won't be left out of feeling the great joys in life. How could I bring about more suffering in the world and thereby bring about more happiness? Hmmm....

Where did this idea even come from?! And why is it so popular? Is it just one more way of trying to explain why bad things happen? I have not found any compelling reason for this line of thinking. It breaks down too easily, and seems like one of those cliches people say when they don't know what to say. It ranks up there with "everything happens for a reason." Really? Everything? What was the reason I had a late lunch today? What is the reason other people didn't have lunch today? (Wait, that is perhaps a different post.)

My experiences in life will be different than yours and will be colored with the lenses of my past, but the level of past pain doesn't necessarily equate with present pleasure and present pain doesn't mean I will have greater joy later. There is no one to one correlation, nor is it onto. (What's onto? It's one to one. What's one to one? It's onto.)

I could go on, but people give me a hard time if these posts get too long.

"I'm yours, save me."

Last Sunday I watched Luther, the newer movie about Martin Luther. The part that has really been sticking with me for the past week is the simple prayer "I'm yours, save me." Well, simple in the fact that it is just 4 words, but there is just so much packed into those words.

I'm yours. Confession that I belong to Christ. Promise that Christ has claimed me. Remembering that I am a child of God.

Save me. Cry for being made whole. Hope for what is to come. Hope that this moment will pass. Promise that Christ is with us in this moment and every moment.

When Luther is tormented this is the prayer he is given and repeats over and over. Last time I blogged that I was afraid of my prayers, and this one is not less scary but it is a prayer of trust. I don't know what my life will look like in the next moment, but I do know who I belong to and Christ has died to save me. So, I'm asking in it to be reminded of this promise at the same time I am remembering that to save me, God will change me.

Careful what I ask for

Something has been on my mind and it isn't a good something. It isn't important what it is, but it has occupied too much of my thoughts lately. It has brought out a pretty dark side. After being tormented by my own negative thoughts for about a week to the point that I was dreaming about it, I thought "Hey, maybe this is something I should pray about."
Before I go any further, I want to say that I see prayer more as a meditative process that connects us to the "life source" of the Universe which I call God. So, I start thinking about this problem and am meditating on coming to a solution and letting go when I stop. I realize what I'm doing is very dangerous. God could change me. That was what I had been praying for and that was what I thought I wanted until I realized that it could really happen.
God promises to change us. Promises to make me into the whole complete person I was created to be. But I don't want it. I like my sin. I didn't want to be changed. I didn't want to hand over my problem to God. I wanted to be angry a little longer. I wanted to feel righteous indignation. I wanted to complain and find fault and pretend I was the better person. I didn't want to let go. Its like wanting the last word in an argument. I wasn't ready to walk away from my feelings. I just wasn't quit done yet. I kinda disgust myself thinking about it.
I really do want to want for God to change me, but sometimes it is just too scary. Maybe before I pray about the problem that set me down this path, I should begin by praying to accept whatever will happen.
I really do hope I'm able to let go of this negativity soon.

Death!

I've been thinking about death lately. Promoted by an magazine article from Scientific America - Mind that I picked up in an airport. It wasn't even the article that made me buy the magazine, but I read it and now death in on the mind.
I have no idea what I believe happens to us when we die. Maybe there is something or maybe we are just dead, gone, no more, worm food. Whatever happens, it doesn't change anything about how I'm going to live now. Christ saves us for this life.
What I can't believe is that when someone dies they are aware of what is going on with us. That would be a terrible thing to have happen after death and is rather creepy as well. We want our loved ones to see our proud moments, but if they can see that then they can also see our grief after they died, when we sing to ourselves, taking a shower, making mistakes, and all those other big and small moments we'd rather not share with our dearly departed. Maybe they have a different perspective and don't look at these moments the same way we did, but that means they can not relate to us the way we are. That isn't a good alternative either. So, I'm going to stick with they don't have knowledge of what we are doing.
Why don't we all want to die? It is suppose to be wonderful. There are a ton of songs about reunions with loved ones and all the joy. If that is true, then we should just all die and get it over with. We spend so much time trying not to die. There must be something to this.
I have no answers. And I think I should stop thinking about this topic. So I'm going to search out something else to occupy my mind, and let death die for now.

Is God mean?

I'm in the middle of read The Sparrow right now, science fiction filled with religion, totally my kind of book. It was talking about missionaries going to place they knew they would get killed, beaten, and tortured and being driven by the idea that it is better for them to endure that in hopes that the people they are trying to "save" wouldn't endure eternal punishment from God. I just had to put the book down for a moment and ask "Is God really that mean? Are the missionaries more compassionate and loving because they are willing to again and again be tortured for the sake of someone else?" How completely messed up is that?

I'm not a nice person. I do mean stuff to people. I won't let you know what those things are just in case someone reading this is someone I've been mean to, but trust me, it happens. Anyway, the little stuff I do doesn't seem like it deserves eternal punishment. What about eye for an eye? I'm rude when I'm tired and then deserve "weeping and gnashing of teeth". There seems to be something seriously wrong with this kind of theology.

Why did we create such a hateful god?

Eucharist

I'm wondering today if Eucharist is the word that captures what Communion is all about. I'm not sure if we should call it Eucharist. Are we thankful for violence? Are we really having a "thanksgiving meal" because Christ died? That seems morbid and disturbing to me. It seems more mourning. We aren't happy that Christ died. We aren't celebrating his death. We are in mourning about his death. It isn't a good thing that when Love personified entered the world in human form he was killed. But it is a reality that we do kill love. We do stifle life. We do reject each other and in doing so reject God. I do it. I know I do it. More than I would like. Being present to that reality is what is happening during communion. But it doesn't end with me feeling crappy because I hurt someone and/or myself. Communion is calling us into God's reality that our Sin can not keep us from the Kingdom. That with the people I hurt, with those who hurt me, I enter into the presence of the Living God. I am called into community. I often think about how I don't know the stories of the people I'm communing with. It really isn't important that I do. I see it on their faces that they too are called to participate in this reality of being called to the Kingdom.
Sharing in the bread and wine is a reminder of our freedom. It is a reminder that what we do can not change who God is. I can live boldly. I can Sin Boldly. Because I am free. Sure what I do matters, but not in the sense that it can undo God. My power to undo love and stifle life can not change the one who is Love and Life. I do not have that kind of power.

Arete

While Kevin and I were hiking down from Lake Serene yesterday he asked me to tell him what I know about Socrates. Our discussion of Socrates and Plato moved into Greek thought and the concept of arete came up. The only thing I could remember was that it had to do with excellence.
Later with the help of wikipedia I learned that it is not only excellence but also goodness and virtue and living out one's potential and fulfilling our life's purpose.

This idea just scream baptismal call to me. The concept that I am created as a unique individual have my own call or purpose or potential to fill is very comforting. Actually, it is more than comforting. It is liberating. I don't need to worry about how I compare to you because you have a different purpose than I do.

And if we all have a purpose we are all valuable, or at least potentially valuable. Perhaps if you don't work toward your potential or are blocked by forces outside your control in reaching it your value is missed and never utilized.

hmm, more thoughts should be given to this idea. I'll have to do some pondering.