Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Moms get grace too

A few Sundays ago my toddler fell asleep during worship. She was out hard and laying across me, so I stayed in that position for the rest of the service. I knew we had a busy afternoon, and I knew if I woke her the nap would be over with no return later. I needed her to sleep, so I sat. People around us stood up to sing and to pray and to pass the peace, I sat there, and she slept. It was time for communion, and the very kind people in our row went the other way out the pew so not to disturb us. The usher asked if I would like communion to be brought to me. I gave a very non-committal response something like "don't worry about it, we're fine". Communion is taken to those how can't make it to the front, so this is a normal practice but usually for the elderly with walkers not a mom of a toddler who just doesn't want to move. I wasn't sure if anyone would come to us or not. I felt kinda silly. And then down the aisle it came. There was nothing left for me to do but receive.

In that moment, I realized something: moms get grace too. As I sat there "not needing help" or wanting to bother anyone because I have it under control, someone came to me with the message of love and forgiveness and a reminder that it isn't about getting it right and being it all. Sometimes I can have a break or a moment or just mess up and the world will not end because of it. I too can have a moment of grace.

Now if someone just felt inspired to clean the kitchen.

This post partly bothers me because it is so cliche. Oh the Gospel is for me?! Duh. But on the other hand, how much do we live like it is for us? When we are running around with our giant to do lists and apologizing for not getting something done we are not living from a place of "its going to be ok" or grace, but we are preaching grace and living works. Salvation, after all, isn't just about the future but the moment, and in this moment it isn't about your to do list or your work but about the fact that you are loved. What would it look like if you lived like that and really believed it? I certainly wouldn't feel sheepish that someone walked 50 feet to give me something because my kid was asleep. Sheepish is a feeling from the place of works not grace, of believing that I can do it all.
But I can't. And its ok.
I'm not loved by anyone because of the checks or not checks on my list.

1 comment:

  1. Nicole, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing these thoughts in a public space.