I'm a goat.

The shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. The sheep took care of those who are hungry or thirsty or in prison. The goats did not. Neither were aware of what they were doing. Both groups ask when they had done such a thing. Well, I'm a goat. I try to help those who are hungry or thirsty, but I know I do so much that puts me in the goat category unknowingly. I knowing know I do those that hurt people that I don't know about. Did you get that? I wish it wasn't true, but it is. Sometimes it is laziness to buy the easy cheap item and not caring who is impacted by my purchase. Sometimes it is complete lack of knowledge that I should make a different choice. Either way, I'm a goat.

Will I be thrown into a lake of fire for my goatness? Well, aren't I already. Don't our choices that disregard the well being of others cause problems in the world or of more personal significance problems in my community. Maybe the only reason it doesn't feel like a lake of fire is because we've gotten use to the temperature and can't even imagine a world where each cared for the other. The Kingdom is so close and so far away.

Grace and Hell

I'm not sure what I have to say on this topic, but it is on my mind. The concept of hell seems awfully harsh to me. And the way people get to hell seems even harsher. I can't imagine sending someone there myself, so does that mean I have more mercy than God? Doesn't seem right. It also makes God's love conditional. If you believe that Jesus died for your sins then you get to go to this nice place, but if you don't you can spend the rest of eternity in misery. You're either with me or against me. Yikes!

Some people's lives suck a lot while they are alive, then if they didn't do the right thing and believe in Jesus it goes from bad to hell. Makes you wonder why they even exist. Perhaps it would be better to never be born.

What if hell is a place on earth. The way we treat people can be rather hellish. There is plenty of weeping an gnashing of teeth already; I don't think we need a separate place for it.

Maybe I'm going to go to hell for this post.

Kenosis and other fun words

I thought I should respond to myself after the Jesus didn't have to die post because I think something significant did happen. And perhaps this post will totally negate the other one. About 10 years ago (ish) I started asking "why did Jesus die?". I could "answer" the question with all the correct answers - Jesus died for my sins; Jesus died so that we might have life; Jesus died as a sacrifice; etc. But it didn't really make sense. Why exactly did Jesus have to die because of MY sins? What happened on the cross that took away my sins? It seemed like a cosmic fairy tale or something. I was not satisfied with any answer I was given, and I asked the question a lot. I read a lot. I thought I'd just walk away from the church because it just wasn't making sense, but somehow I couldn't.

So this is how I understand it now:

God is Life. Jesus is God made flesh or human. Jesus is Life. Sin is separation from God. Therefore, Sin is separation from Life. When Jesus died he descended into Hell. Hell is the complete absence of Life. Jesus completely emptied himself, kenosis, of Life becoming completely separate from God. No matter what I do, or what anyone else does, Jesus has "been there", has been that separate, that apart from God. But, the story doesn't stop there, no Easter without Good Friday, no Good Friday without Easter. Jesus came back from that farthest point. In a way saying there is no place you can go that you are too far away from God that God can't bring you back. Now every person has been given hope. It doesn't matter how awful you've been because God went a step further.

So should we continue to Sin so that Grace may abound. (Paul) By no means! Because sinning sucks. Sinning is going away from Life and away from community. It really isn't a good place to live. So, live free knowing that you can't get too far away from God, but getting far away isn't very pleasant, it's, well, hell.

So there you have it. How my little brain makes sense of what happened on the Cross.

Gifted

My little girl, who I am excited to see grow and become, has been rather active tonight. I wish I had a camera in my belly to watch her stretch and grow and punch me from the inside. I've been reading various websites about birth and parenting and education as I feel her move in my belly. I can't wait to see who she will be and what special gift she will bring to the world. I hope I am able to both facilitate her growth of discovering who God has created her to be and get out her way and not let my own hangups become hers.

I believe God has granted each of us a gift, something that is uniquely ours. It is a combination of our personality, our interests, our talents, and how all of these come together to impact the world around us. As part of a larger community we each play a special role in making that community whole. I am saddened when I see people who, for whatever reason, are not living out their gift. Because of abuse or addiction or circumstances they are not living fully. None of us are really, but sometimes it is more profound. I wonder who that person was suppose to be before they were dealt such a shitty hand. What are we missing in the world because some people are too busy just trying to survive to truly live or dies too young?

Can't wait to get to know you, little one. And could you tell me what your name is? Your parents are stuck.

God is not a person

Something that has been bothering me lately is our tendency to personify God. God is not a person. Jesus was a person. The purpose of Jesus was to help us understand who God is. God is hard to picture, so we have Jesus. Jesus is God personified, but God the creator and God the Holy Spirit are not persons. God as he or she or it doesn't matter because God is beyond these labels.

When we talk about what God would do I think we miss the point of who God is. God is. That which makes an "is" is God. Sometimes when I'm trying to wrap my head around this it helps to substitute life or love in for God. God is life. God is love. So, does life forgive us when we lie or mean to someone or whatever, all those sin things? Those sin things we do separate us from Life or God. So, being a jerk is sinful because it isn't about life. Can we be forgiven? Yes, of course. Part of life and love is reconciliation. Love is bigger than our all the things we can do to mess it up. Love is patient and kind and... I can't remember the rest. But the more we push against Love or Life by doing things that takes us away from it the less we get to experience it. The less we experience God.

I'll leave it there for now. More to say, but one thought per post or I'll just ramble on too much.

Taking Communion again for the first time

I hear the words before communion almost every Sunday. They often just wash over me, but I don't always listen carefully. Recently, I was actually paying attention when they were said, perhaps because I was in a different setting, perhaps because the Holy Spirit was doing something in me.

Jesus took the bread and said "This is my body." (paraphrase) Well, it couldn't actually be his body; he was standing right there. So what was he saying? In that moment what I heard was, I am that which sustains and gives life. I am the simple piece of bread at your table. I am with you in this everyday item giving you life. It didn't seem to be about a moment, but a declaration of who Jesus is.

Jesus took the wine and said "This is my blood." (paraphrase) Jesus doesn't just sustain us, but adds to our life. Jesus gives life to our life. He brings meaning and celebration. He isn't just the ordinary bread but the wine which is a celebration. The joy we have from life comes from Jesus; he is present in those moments breathing life into the party so to speak.

So it seems we sell ourselves short when we put God in ritual. God is bigger than our rituals, our festivals. God is in our life. God is our life. It isn't about believing in some man in the sky, but about embracing the life we are given to the fullest. Live on. Live free. Jesus is part of it.

Advent

Winter in the Northwest can get me down. I miss the sun. Then it seemed one bad situation after another was happening or being brought to my attention. Police being shot. Children be solved into sex slavery. Immigration rights or lack there of. Parents loosing children. Children loosing parents. Hunger and disease that are preventable putting people into a tailspin. You get the picture. All of that and no sun put me in a sour mood.

But then I remembered Advent. I think it is brilliant that Christmas and the Winter Solstice come at the same time. I may celebrate both. I'm not worried about Christians stealing the holiday away. It makes sense to use it and embrace the very real part of this time of year when the darkness shifts. That is what Christmas is. That is what is happening in the seasons. It all fits together. Jesus is the light that breaks into the darkness.

It can be helpful to remember the solstice is coming in these dark days when cars have their lights on at 3pm. We are looking forward to the shift in light. Longer days. More sun. Bring it on!

It also fills me with hope when I get stuck in a place of thinking of all the bad happening around me, that Christ breaks into that darkness. The Kingdom is breaking in all around me. There is light and there is hope. It doesn't get swallowed up even if seems like it some days.

This Advent Christmas season we should spend less time worry about what holiday season it is and embrace them all as we speak a word of hope for the light that shines in the dark and does is not overcome by it.

Enjoy the Holidays of Light.