I'm in the middle of read The Sparrow right now, science fiction filled with religion, totally my kind of book. It was talking about missionaries going to place they knew they would get killed, beaten, and tortured and being driven by the idea that it is better for them to endure that in hopes that the people they are trying to "save" wouldn't endure eternal punishment from God. I just had to put the book down for a moment and ask "Is God really that mean? Are the missionaries more compassionate and loving because they are willing to again and again be tortured for the sake of someone else?" How completely messed up is that?
I'm not a nice person. I do mean stuff to people. I won't let you know what those things are just in case someone reading this is someone I've been mean to, but trust me, it happens. Anyway, the little stuff I do doesn't seem like it deserves eternal punishment. What about eye for an eye? I'm rude when I'm tired and then deserve "weeping and gnashing of teeth". There seems to be something seriously wrong with this kind of theology.
Why did we create such a hateful god?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Eucharist
I'm wondering today if Eucharist is the word that captures what Communion is all about. I'm not sure if we should call it Eucharist. Are we thankful for violence? Are we really having a "thanksgiving meal" because Christ died? That seems morbid and disturbing to me. It seems more mourning. We aren't happy that Christ died. We aren't celebrating his death. We are in mourning about his death. It isn't a good thing that when Love personified entered the world in human form he was killed. But it is a reality that we do kill love. We do stifle life. We do reject each other and in doing so reject God. I do it. I know I do it. More than I would like. Being present to that reality is what is happening during communion. But it doesn't end with me feeling crappy because I hurt someone and/or myself. Communion is calling us into God's reality that our Sin can not keep us from the Kingdom. That with the people I hurt, with those who hurt me, I enter into the presence of the Living God. I am called into community. I often think about how I don't know the stories of the people I'm communing with. It really isn't important that I do. I see it on their faces that they too are called to participate in this reality of being called to the Kingdom.
Sharing in the bread and wine is a reminder of our freedom. It is a reminder that what we do can not change who God is. I can live boldly. I can Sin Boldly. Because I am free. Sure what I do matters, but not in the sense that it can undo God. My power to undo love and stifle life can not change the one who is Love and Life. I do not have that kind of power.
Sharing in the bread and wine is a reminder of our freedom. It is a reminder that what we do can not change who God is. I can live boldly. I can Sin Boldly. Because I am free. Sure what I do matters, but not in the sense that it can undo God. My power to undo love and stifle life can not change the one who is Love and Life. I do not have that kind of power.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Arete
While Kevin and I were hiking down from Lake Serene yesterday he asked me to tell him what I know about Socrates. Our discussion of Socrates and Plato moved into Greek thought and the concept of arete came up. The only thing I could remember was that it had to do with excellence.
Later with the help of wikipedia I learned that it is not only excellence but also goodness and virtue and living out one's potential and fulfilling our life's purpose.
This idea just scream baptismal call to me. The concept that I am created as a unique individual have my own call or purpose or potential to fill is very comforting. Actually, it is more than comforting. It is liberating. I don't need to worry about how I compare to you because you have a different purpose than I do.
And if we all have a purpose we are all valuable, or at least potentially valuable. Perhaps if you don't work toward your potential or are blocked by forces outside your control in reaching it your value is missed and never utilized.
hmm, more thoughts should be given to this idea. I'll have to do some pondering.
Later with the help of wikipedia I learned that it is not only excellence but also goodness and virtue and living out one's potential and fulfilling our life's purpose.
This idea just scream baptismal call to me. The concept that I am created as a unique individual have my own call or purpose or potential to fill is very comforting. Actually, it is more than comforting. It is liberating. I don't need to worry about how I compare to you because you have a different purpose than I do.
And if we all have a purpose we are all valuable, or at least potentially valuable. Perhaps if you don't work toward your potential or are blocked by forces outside your control in reaching it your value is missed and never utilized.
hmm, more thoughts should be given to this idea. I'll have to do some pondering.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Some thoughts, a little theology, mostly BS
I have not been updating this blog like I should, so this is the first in what is hopefully a series of more frequent posts.
I have a few things that dealing with theology matters that I have "known" and been able to "say the correct words" for a long time, but haven't really grasped the meaning or internalized. The list is longer than I would like, and I will pick something once in a while to focus on and try to grasp which usually leads to over thinking, questioning everything, and then deciding it is all a mystery anyway. Yesterday I was listening to a lecture when the phrase "Christ came to fulfill the law not abolish it." or something like that. Anyway, that is one of those phrases that I know and said and haven't really paid much attention to it. Who wants to focus on the law? So as I listened I had one of those "oh, duh, that's what that means" moments.
So here is my "oh duh" moment which is quickly slipping away and becoming a "how does that all work again" moment.
Christ is the fulfillment of the law by being the embodiment of the law. The word made flesh. If we want to know what it looks like to live out the law fully and completely we look to how Jesus lived. This should not lead us to ask What Would Jesus Do. That is such a strange an irrelevant question. I'm not Jesus. I have been given my own set of gifts and personality to fulfill my personal baptismal call or vocation living in my time and place.
Instead Jesus fulfilling the law helps us get a glimpse of the nature of God. We can't be like Jesus, and that is the point. We can't keep the law. We need Grace. We need Christ. When the law fulfilled and lived completely came and dwelt among us, we crucified him. It isn't even that we can't will ourselves to do it, but when faced with it the consequence was death.
I have a few things that dealing with theology matters that I have "known" and been able to "say the correct words" for a long time, but haven't really grasped the meaning or internalized. The list is longer than I would like, and I will pick something once in a while to focus on and try to grasp which usually leads to over thinking, questioning everything, and then deciding it is all a mystery anyway. Yesterday I was listening to a lecture when the phrase "Christ came to fulfill the law not abolish it." or something like that. Anyway, that is one of those phrases that I know and said and haven't really paid much attention to it. Who wants to focus on the law? So as I listened I had one of those "oh, duh, that's what that means" moments.
So here is my "oh duh" moment which is quickly slipping away and becoming a "how does that all work again" moment.
Christ is the fulfillment of the law by being the embodiment of the law. The word made flesh. If we want to know what it looks like to live out the law fully and completely we look to how Jesus lived. This should not lead us to ask What Would Jesus Do. That is such a strange an irrelevant question. I'm not Jesus. I have been given my own set of gifts and personality to fulfill my personal baptismal call or vocation living in my time and place.
Instead Jesus fulfilling the law helps us get a glimpse of the nature of God. We can't be like Jesus, and that is the point. We can't keep the law. We need Grace. We need Christ. When the law fulfilled and lived completely came and dwelt among us, we crucified him. It isn't even that we can't will ourselves to do it, but when faced with it the consequence was death.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Healing
I felt incredibly anxious yesterday. All day I just couldn't feel calm, unless I was busy. Bus rides were terrible. I felt like I couldn't hold still and just needed to get off. It wasn't a mystery why I was feeling this way. And I knew I just needed to feel all the emotions pulsating through my body and not try to mask them or run from them.
I have been thinking a lot about my friend Dinah who died 2.5 years ago. I have also been doing a job search. Plus, I've been involved in a Life Passion search class. Yesterday, thoughts about all three of these were bubbling at the surface with seemingly no way to calm my anxiety surrounding each. I don't want to make a decision about a job. I'm ticked off at my friend for dying, yes, still. And writing down AND sharing what I want my life to look like makes me feel exposed, naked, and lets my inner critic have a field day.
This was the state I was in when a friend called and asked if I wanted to meet her for worship. Maybe I said. Maybe I want to worship a God I may or not believe in. Maybe I want to spend time in a place of contemplation when I can't figure out how to feel. But if I've learned anything in the 2.5 years since Dinah and Shawn died, it is always better to face things head on.
I sat there listening to the sermon on hearing Christ's voice among all the other voices we hear everyday. I started to relax. When I took communion and was reminded once again how this faith I have isn't about the nice things in life. I believe in a God that gets dirty, a God that doesn't mask pain but embraces it and uses it. Easter is pointless without Good Friday. It was in no way God's will for my friends to die. But the cross reminds us that God embraces the suffering and can use it to bring new life.
So in the community around communion and in the community of sharing in past experiences later over drinks, last night was one more chance to feel healing. One more chance to remind myself that yes, it is through the cross I view life. One more chance to be healed by future hope shared with a friend.
This was an extremely personal blog post for me. I'm a little shocked by it, but it felt good to write. The theology may not be perfect, but it is an honest reflection.
I have been thinking a lot about my friend Dinah who died 2.5 years ago. I have also been doing a job search. Plus, I've been involved in a Life Passion search class. Yesterday, thoughts about all three of these were bubbling at the surface with seemingly no way to calm my anxiety surrounding each. I don't want to make a decision about a job. I'm ticked off at my friend for dying, yes, still. And writing down AND sharing what I want my life to look like makes me feel exposed, naked, and lets my inner critic have a field day.
This was the state I was in when a friend called and asked if I wanted to meet her for worship. Maybe I said. Maybe I want to worship a God I may or not believe in. Maybe I want to spend time in a place of contemplation when I can't figure out how to feel. But if I've learned anything in the 2.5 years since Dinah and Shawn died, it is always better to face things head on.
I sat there listening to the sermon on hearing Christ's voice among all the other voices we hear everyday. I started to relax. When I took communion and was reminded once again how this faith I have isn't about the nice things in life. I believe in a God that gets dirty, a God that doesn't mask pain but embraces it and uses it. Easter is pointless without Good Friday. It was in no way God's will for my friends to die. But the cross reminds us that God embraces the suffering and can use it to bring new life.
So in the community around communion and in the community of sharing in past experiences later over drinks, last night was one more chance to feel healing. One more chance to remind myself that yes, it is through the cross I view life. One more chance to be healed by future hope shared with a friend.
This was an extremely personal blog post for me. I'm a little shocked by it, but it felt good to write. The theology may not be perfect, but it is an honest reflection.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 5, 2007
Faith Part 2
I will continue with where I left off. I already talked about faith as assensus or assent. Now I will move on to the "heart" faith types. Heart in this context is the level deeper than thinking, perhaps even deeper than emotions, but containing emotions as well. It is our deep level of self that guides what we do.
The first kind of heart faith is faith as fiducia or faith as trust. It is not trusting that a set of facts are true. It is the kind of trust I share with Kevin. I have no doubt that when he says he's working late he is. I have no proof. When I call him on his cell he could potentially be anywhere. I would have no way of proving he is at his desk, but he says he is and I trust that. I can't imagine what it would be like to loose this. The opposite of this kind of faith is being anxious. I certainly would be anxious about what Kevin was doing if I didn't trust him.
How does this kind of faith relate to God? This is certainly a very relational faith. I need to trust God, trust in the promises God made. Trust that God has given me gifts and sees something in me that sometimes I struggle with seeing myself. Trust that I am saved by Grace and I don't need to worry about understanding it exactly. Trust that the essence of God is Life and Love. Trust that Christ did bring a new light into the world. If the opposite of this faith is being anxious the positive is relaxing. Relaxing in the knowledge that we are loved can certainly be difficult, but the promise after the cross is there is the resurrection. New life can come from present difficulties or pain. This kind of faith is transforming.
One final comment on faith as trust. When I was little I would go sledding with my older brother. Sometimes we would both go on the sled together. I would lay down on top of him holding on to his shoulders as we went head first down the hill. He enjoyed steering us off the main road and into the bumpy part where the trees were. I remember being scared, but then relaxing knowing that he was in control and wouldn't let us hit a tree. In order to enjoy the ride I had to put my trust in him and just relax. There wasn't a thing I could do anyway as we went flying past the trees inches (probably feet) away from danger.
The next kind of heart faith is faith as fidelitas or faith as being faithful. This kind of faith is about my relationship with God and being faithful to it. It is about being attentive. Again, this kind of faith is relational. God speaks to us in a variety of ways, and when I am not attentive to the relationship it is hard to hear what is being said. Perhaps this is why I feel directionless at times? This faith is what is being talked about in the third commandment when we are to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. Luther's meaning of this includes not neglecting God's Word or the preaching of it. When the bible speaks about an idolatrous nation, it is talking about a nation that has neglected its relationship with God.
Finally, the last kind of heart faith is faith as visio or faith as a way of seeing. How do I see the world? Is it hostile and out to get me? Do I see it as indifferent? Both of these ways can lead us to having a suspicious attitude. I couldn't help but think about people driving big SUV and living with multiple locks on their house to protect themselves and family from all the perceived danger. We live in a dangerous, scary world after all. Or do we really? It is really unlikely that anything will happen to me when I leave my apartment today. It is also really unlikely that as I sit and type that someone will try to break in. Despite what the news tells us, we are safe. Sure occasionally something happens, but is it really worth it to have a negative world view because of something that might happen that is statistically incredibly unlikely?
This kind of faith goes beyond our personal safety concern issues. How do we view other people? How do we view the world as a whole? If I believe that each person I see or even those I never meet are created by the same loving God that created me or even that are just as valuable then my feeling and actions toward them are certainly influenced. We learn from the story of the Good Samaritan that we are all neighbors, and treating others this way is how the Kingdom of God is and will be.
In summary, faith is about what we believe, but it is also about trust, being attentive to our relationship with God, and how we view the world.
The first kind of heart faith is faith as fiducia or faith as trust. It is not trusting that a set of facts are true. It is the kind of trust I share with Kevin. I have no doubt that when he says he's working late he is. I have no proof. When I call him on his cell he could potentially be anywhere. I would have no way of proving he is at his desk, but he says he is and I trust that. I can't imagine what it would be like to loose this. The opposite of this kind of faith is being anxious. I certainly would be anxious about what Kevin was doing if I didn't trust him.
How does this kind of faith relate to God? This is certainly a very relational faith. I need to trust God, trust in the promises God made. Trust that God has given me gifts and sees something in me that sometimes I struggle with seeing myself. Trust that I am saved by Grace and I don't need to worry about understanding it exactly. Trust that the essence of God is Life and Love. Trust that Christ did bring a new light into the world. If the opposite of this faith is being anxious the positive is relaxing. Relaxing in the knowledge that we are loved can certainly be difficult, but the promise after the cross is there is the resurrection. New life can come from present difficulties or pain. This kind of faith is transforming.
One final comment on faith as trust. When I was little I would go sledding with my older brother. Sometimes we would both go on the sled together. I would lay down on top of him holding on to his shoulders as we went head first down the hill. He enjoyed steering us off the main road and into the bumpy part where the trees were. I remember being scared, but then relaxing knowing that he was in control and wouldn't let us hit a tree. In order to enjoy the ride I had to put my trust in him and just relax. There wasn't a thing I could do anyway as we went flying past the trees inches (probably feet) away from danger.
The next kind of heart faith is faith as fidelitas or faith as being faithful. This kind of faith is about my relationship with God and being faithful to it. It is about being attentive. Again, this kind of faith is relational. God speaks to us in a variety of ways, and when I am not attentive to the relationship it is hard to hear what is being said. Perhaps this is why I feel directionless at times? This faith is what is being talked about in the third commandment when we are to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. Luther's meaning of this includes not neglecting God's Word or the preaching of it. When the bible speaks about an idolatrous nation, it is talking about a nation that has neglected its relationship with God.
Finally, the last kind of heart faith is faith as visio or faith as a way of seeing. How do I see the world? Is it hostile and out to get me? Do I see it as indifferent? Both of these ways can lead us to having a suspicious attitude. I couldn't help but think about people driving big SUV and living with multiple locks on their house to protect themselves and family from all the perceived danger. We live in a dangerous, scary world after all. Or do we really? It is really unlikely that anything will happen to me when I leave my apartment today. It is also really unlikely that as I sit and type that someone will try to break in. Despite what the news tells us, we are safe. Sure occasionally something happens, but is it really worth it to have a negative world view because of something that might happen that is statistically incredibly unlikely?
This kind of faith goes beyond our personal safety concern issues. How do we view other people? How do we view the world as a whole? If I believe that each person I see or even those I never meet are created by the same loving God that created me or even that are just as valuable then my feeling and actions toward them are certainly influenced. We learn from the story of the Good Samaritan that we are all neighbors, and treating others this way is how the Kingdom of God is and will be.
In summary, faith is about what we believe, but it is also about trust, being attentive to our relationship with God, and how we view the world.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)